How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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Niall Horan

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Worms don't like apples.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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