Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops