Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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