my names jim haha

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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