roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

thumb_up thumb_down

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

thumb_up thumb_down

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down

But officer, I did come to a full stop!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops