Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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