What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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THe Election

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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