What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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