"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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whos district champs not JM

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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your mum

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops