A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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