A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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