What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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Popsicles

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Penis.

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops