A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Asians...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

French people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops