Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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