If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Carlton

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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Asians...

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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