Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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kathryn atkins

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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