Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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TIMMY

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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