What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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Oh...okay, good.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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