If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -122

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +131

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

a black guy with rights in 1924

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +33

shabalabadingdong JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops