- Anti Joke

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

whats the stage after cancer? you die

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops