what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops