i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

being sober in a bar fight

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

thumb_up thumb_down -15

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops