Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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69

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops