Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops