Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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A horse walked into a barn...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Knock knock

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Gay rights

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops