What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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