A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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My nipple is bleeding

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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The Mets win the World Series

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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France never surrender.

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45.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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