Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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