Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if you can read this you dont' need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Dyslexics are teople poo

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops