A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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WNBA

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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