a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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give me a thumbs up

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops