How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My life

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops