What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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theres a fat guy

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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