What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

What do you call your mother? Mom.

What's gay and gay? Joe

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

Look at your hand. Made you look!

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

45.

France never surrender.

chuck norris is a little b|tch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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