What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops