what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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people magazine

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops