Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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