What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

The AIDS patient was gay

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

What's 1+1? 4.

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

make me a sandwich!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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