What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

Asians...

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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