What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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