Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Can anyone Lenin money?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops