What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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minorities

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Women's Rights

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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