this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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