Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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knock knock... ...no answer

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops