How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops