An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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