Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

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Where's my baby??

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops