How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

A bar walks into a man

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...