"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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YOLO

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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theres a fat guy

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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