A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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CFL

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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An Aisian failed a test

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops