Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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