Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Kevin and Ramin

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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